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The stance that you took on this (from the non-minority perspective) is something that I don't see a lot. Usually, it's the minority writing about how others cause them problems. I found this to be very original, and that's what got me to read it in the first place. I think what you wanted to say really got across, and I'm glad to have gained a new perspective by reading this.

Your rhymes don't seem forced, but sometimes the lengths of the lines vary, which breaks up the scheme a little. Because of that, it's hard for the reader to get a rhythm for it, and it reads more like a monologue than a poem. Since it rhymes, I'm assuming that the effect isn't what you were initially going for.

That being said, if you were to stand up on stage and provide the rhythm for the audience (as opposed to doing it at the computer) then it would flow like a poem.

I think what you've done is really meaningful, and I'll certainly remember it for quite a while.
The Artist thought this was FAIR
11 out of 13 deviants thought this was fair.


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